


The Way

by TeamScienceMegaNerds



Series: Fictober 2019 [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 05:07:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21113159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamScienceMegaNerds/pseuds/TeamScienceMegaNerds
Summary: Fictober Agentcorp one-shots





	1. "Just follow me, I know the area"

Lena Luthor is a brilliant, accomplished, CEO. But drunk Lena is like a giant teddy bear who clearly has no idea what’s going on around her. You’d think getting lost in LCorp wouldn’t be that big of a deal but the building is much larger than Alex realized. And, to be fair, Alex was a little tipsy too. A late-night nightcap had lead to a discussion of trauma, futility, and faith. In that order. Each of them losing count of glasses and whiskey between one subject and the next. They are friends. Good friends. Great friends. 

Sometimes they are friends who fall into bed together. Or on desks. Once in a car. Twice against the wall outside of Alex’s apartment. Those are the things they never discuss. And tonight, after Lena had swooped in and scienced away a dire threat to all of National City and the world, them not discussing what they are had lead to a kind of fearful aimlessness that they could not control. 

Wandering through a building that Lena owned but had not built was a dumb thing to do. Clearly, that inheritance was clawing at Lena’s insides. Alex watched the beast of uncertainty overcome Lena. They walked to places Lena had never been. Offices she’d never seen. Such a big place, too many people populating it in the day. At night they could get lost in it. They had gotten lost in it. “Let’s follow the exit signs.” 

“Just follow me, I know the area,” Lena slurred and trekked on. 

“It’s not an area. It’s a building. One building.” Alex reaches out and grabs Lena before this gets out of hand. Lena’s eyes flare with something. Anger. Guilt. Annoyance. “You think I don’t know what’s happening?”

“Shut up, Alex.” Words like that are usually followed by a kiss. Passion and anger have defined a lot between them. But tonight, Lena lets Alex hold her in place, and she waits. 

“It’s okay.” Alex knows that’s not enough to encompass everything. But it’s enough to soften Lena’s resistance. “This place, this building…is nothing compared to you.”

“Don’t say something you’re going to regret,” Lena warns. “Don’t ruin us, Alex.” 

“Fuck it, we’re ruined.” Alex releases Lena but neither moves back. “I was using you. You were using me. And…and now we’re here. And you’re freaking out because you’re not in control right now. So, let’s…not pretend that we don’t care about each other.” 

“Your heart is too good, Alex.” Lena punctuates the statement by pressing her hand against Alex’s chest. “Somehow, someway my family will completely destroy you.”

“They can try.”

“They will.” Lena scoffs and continues walking toward another door that will probably lead them nowhere. “Kara would kill me if anything happened to you.” 

“I can take care of myself,” Alex reminds her as they start down the stairs. “From what I remember of last night, I can take care of you too.” Lena stops and turns to face Alex with a frown. 

“Now you’re joking around? Great.” 

“You’re so uptight.”

“You know I hate when people call me that.” Lena grabs onto the railing and continues her descent. “Catching feelings was not supposed to be on the table. That was the whole point.” 

“Noted.” They try another door which is locked. Unfortunately, Lena only remembers a few passcodes for these doors. This, of course, isn’t one of them. “Now that we’re being honest. Like totally honest…” Lena side-eyes Alex. “I heard you.”

Lena remains calm even though Alex knows just how much she must be freaking out on the inside. “What are you talking about?” 

“You said ‘I love you’-”

“That doesn’t count. We were…it doesn’t count if I say it in the middle of sex.” Alex is trying her best not to roll her eyes. 

“Okay.”

“It was in the moment. Your fingers were inside me, don’t…don’t hold me to that.”

“Okay,” Alex is almost enjoying herself. This conversation isn’t as scary as she thought it’d be. At least they have a more practical goal on hand. “Maybe we should stay here tonight?”

“You have to work early tomorrow.” Alex can see the way that Lena visibly recoils at her own comment. It seems to hit her all at once. How much Lena actually knows about Alex. How she schedules meetings around the possibility of Alex stopping by for lunch. Or that Alex always runs her fingers through her hair when she’s nervous. Like now. “You were supposed to be easy, you know.” They stand side by side at a door. Just one door between them and the outside. 

Freedom. Going home alone. Alex and Lena are both a little unsure. 

“I know.”

Lena raises her hand to punch in the four-number code. “Let’s stay.” Lena lets her arm drop to her side. “I’ll probably throw up all over the floor in my office and we’ll wake up with terrible hangovers.” Lena turns to look at Alex. “You’ll make me feel better just by being there. Like always.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” Lena nods her head. She walks with Alex, hand in hand, back to the elevator. They get in and press the button for Lena’s floor. “I don’t know the way.” 

“Neither do I.” Alex cracks a smile, Lena does the same. “Neither do I.”


	2. "Listen, I can't explain it, you'll have to trust me"

The last time Lillian was in town, she’d met Alex. Lena had noted the awkward tension, the way Lillian seemed to sour when Alex slumped in a chair and wince when Alex shook her hand. Lillian had hardly anything to say about Kara, Sam, and Nia, but Alex…she did not like. Never in her life has Lena felt more powerful than in her office on that very day. 

Alex, who was an acquaintance at best, gave Lena an idea. Childish. Ill-advised. Lena didn’t care. If anything, she’d been heavily influenced by Alex’s demeanor. The edginess that seemed to disturb her mother so much. Lena was enthralled. Paying more attention to Alex at game nights. Learning that Alex is an avid collector of all things ranging from bikes to whiskey to tattoos. So, when Lillian invited Lena - and a few friends - to a nice quiet dinner, inviting Alex was a no brainer. Sam, Kara, and Nia could play docile and cute for Lillian’s conservative inclinations, but Alex certainly doesn’t give a shit and neither does Lena. 

Lena invites Alex at the very last minute, hoping that Alex will feel obligated to go knowing that Kara will be there too. It’s a quick conversation. Alex asks if she has to dress up, Lena tells her to wear whatever makes her comfortable, and the night is set. Lena is confident that all she has to do is wait.

It’s only when Kara, Nia, Sam, and Alex arrive at the stunning mansion that Lena starts to get other ideas. It starts with Alex’s suit. It’s a three-piece suit, in fact, with a floral design that actually gives Lena some pause when she first sees it. Everyone looks nice tonight, Alex looks amazing. 

Lex, who has a backhanded comment for everyone, actually gives Alex an approving nod as Alex walks through the foyer and into the grand dining room. While Lillian is inappropriately asking Alex about her salary, Sam smacks Lena’s hand and nods toward Alex. “Alex sure cleans up nice.” 

“Yes, she does,” Lena remarks as she sneaks and rearranges the seating placards so that she can sit next to Alex. Lena is impressed by Alex’s poises, as Lillian tries to find a weak spot. Luckily, Alex stays strong and Lillian is forced to retreat and play hosts, while the catering company that she’s hired does most of the work for her. 

It’s a sly comment that changes everything right away. Something that undermines the years of work that Lena has put into accepting herself. Lillian says it casually as if she’s being charming. “Well, Lena, when you’re through messing around with these little flings, you might find yourself a respectable husband.” It hurts like hell. No one knows exactly how to deal with Lillian, even though they clearly all want to say something. 

Alex pops an olive into her mouth from the dry martini she’s been nursing and scoffs. “Who the fuck needs a husband?” It changes things. Lillian no longer has permission to be rude tonight. Lena is beyond thankful and when she sees Alex sneaking off for a bathroom break, Lena is swift to follow so she can say something about it. 

“Thank you for that back there,” Lena tells Alex.

“Your mom’s a bit of a…” Alex doesn’t finish the sentence but Lena knows exactly what she means. 

“I have…an idea.” 

Alex pauses at the bathroom door, she looks like she’s unsure but humored at least. Lena feels slightly flustered but confident that if Alex says ‘no’ to this idea, it probably won’t change anything between them. “Would you pretend to be my girlfriend?” Alex turns to face Lena completely. She looks shocked and is probably only smiling out of awkward embarrassment but Lena presses forward. “My mom thinks it’s just a phase, being a lesbian, and…honestly, fuck her. I’m…I’m not in the mood to be bullied. There’s more to it, heinous things she’s said and I…I don’t want to bore you. Listen, I don’t…I don’t want to explain it. I can’t explain it all. You’ll just have to trust me-.”

“You’re stunning when you’re flustered.” That shuts Lena right up. Alex rests her hand on Lena’s forearm. “If she really thinks you’re a disappointment, then I’ll be your plus one.”

“I wouldn’t want…you don’t have to do anything unsavory. Just a little show, something to cause a bit of chaos.”

“Should we hold hands? Make like this bathroom trip wasn’t just for the bathroom.”

“Certainly.”

“Give me a second, then. I actually have to go.” Alex disappears into the bathroom. Lena paces.

She feels like a kid again. Acting out for attention. Sam, Kara, and Nia will have something to say about this that’s for sure. 

Alex exits the bathroom and intertwines their fingers. Lena feels the excitement bubbling up. Nia yelps and Kara drops a $300 plate when Alex and Lena return. Lillian, surprisingly, doesn’t immediately voice her discontent. Instead, she nudges Lex forward to do her dirty work. “My, my, this is interesting.”

“What is?” Alex asks forcing Lex to change his manner of attack.

“When did this start?”

“A few months ago, what’s it to you?” Lex raises his hands defensively. “I don’t need your permission, Lex,” Lena reminds him.

“No need to get snippy.” Lex turns his attention to Alex. “You’re not going to step in and protect your girlfriend’s feelings?”

“If it’s one thing I’ve learned about Lena it’s that she doesn’t need someone protecting her.” Alex gives Lex a winning smile. “Your sister’s a catch. Certified. You’ve got a lovely mansion but Lena owns National City.” They go on like this. Easily, Lena might add. 

Alex has been trained well at the DEO. She doesn’t crack under pressure. In fact, Alex is having the time of her life. “Your mom hates me.”

“You don’t seem to care.” When Lena and Alex kiss for the second time that night it’s between dessert and brandy. Alex tastes like bitter chocolate and cherries. Lena can feel Kara digging into her side. A silent question: what the fuck is going on?

“They’re so cute together,” Nia remarks. She seems to be the only one playing along. As the night winds down, Lena considers what small victories can do for her. For starters, it keeps Lillian’s remarks to a minimum. Lex is enjoying the unspoken drama and Lena is learning to appreciate this side of Alex. 

The night seems to be over before it even begins. Lillian invites them all to an art gallery opening, which none of them seem eager to attend. Lex pulls Lena aside and tells her that she’s done well for herself. Kara, Nia, and Sam pile into the car first, but Alex remains chivalrous and holds the door open for Lena. It’s cute, Lena’s charmed. 

“Okay. What the fuck?” Sam says the moment they’re all inside. “You two aren’t really…?”

“No! We’re just…” Lena exchanges a laugh with Alex. “Fucking with Lillian, as per.” 

“It seemed pretty convincing,” Kara mumbles. Alex bows playfully. “You kissed like fifty times.”

“Twice.” Lena nudges Kara’s arm. “And I’m sorry but Alex is a good kisser.” Lena refuses to apologize unless she believes she’s really done something wrong. Tonight, she’s had a great time, and Alex is a big part of that. 

One by one, Lena drops her friends off until it’s just her and Alex sitting in the back of the town car. They’re both quiet, perhaps stalled by the events of the night. “That was fun,” Alex says. They’re five minutes from Alex’s apartment. It’s a nice apartment from what Lena remembers. The town car slows. 

“Tonight could…keep being fun if you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I have a thing for women with tattoos? Probably.


	3. "You could talk about it, you know?"

When Alex gets the call, she starts packing immediately. She calls Kara on the way to the airport and texts Eliza, but no matter what they say, she’s going. Research is something that Alex can do mindlessly. It requires focus, yes, but when she’s in the zone, nothing else matters. Alex also likes trying new things. Her ex had called her adventurous in the bedroom but old reliable in real life and Alex hated her so much for it, that she took a contract position in Metropolis for six months. Alex was tired of being that person. Predictable. She wanted something more. **  
**

And then, there’s what happened four months ago. But that? Alex never talks about. 

These days, Alex goes with the flow and if that means being one of seventy-five researchers boarding a ship from Norway and embarking on a year-long arctic expedition, then so be it. She knows the training itself will be difficult. This isn’t just about research, it’s about mental and physical stability and Alex has to dig deep to remain consistent and convince everyone that she’s prepared. 

When they actually embark, Alex has a backpack filled with letters written from Kara. Most of them are supportive, plenty are questioning, but Alex’s replies have always been good. Positive. She’s ready. She can’t deal with real-life right now. 

The actual expedition begins with a bang. Champagne in the main cafeteria and some kind of stew that looks like it would weigh Alex down. Alex lingers around a few other researchers, who she’d call friends at this point, and pokes around at some bread. “I’m more of a whiskey girl myself,” Someone says a few tables over. Alex pokes her head up, recognizing the voice almost immediately. Lena Luthor. A brilliant mind, a no-bullshit attitude, Alex had been warned at least a dozen times to stay away from her. _She bought herself onto this ship_, Derek had muttered to Alex when they’d received their wetsuits and gear. 

Alex was used to men undermining her, so she took his words with a grain of salt, but she had to wonder. Almost everyone had made their research intentions clear by now, but Lena was still a mystery. Alex discards her plate and approaches Lena. Alex unzips her jacket and flashes the flask she has in her double-layered jacket. “Wanna take a walk?” 

“Absolutely,” Lena says, eagerly following Alex. 

A walk was maybe pushing it, but avoiding the congestion of the mess hall, Lena and Alex find an empty lab with a small lounge area. Lena sits on the couch first but Alex holds out her hand. “I’m Alex.”

“Yeah, I know and I suspect you know who I am.” Lena grabs the flask out of Alex’s pocket without hesitation. “Saw you on the range, pretty impressive.”

“Army.”

“I figured.” Alex didn’t know that anyone had been paying attention to her, let alone someone as well known as Lena. Alex believes that Lena’s intentions must be something greater. This isn’t just about publicity. The amount of training involved alone would make most people quit on day one. Lena had struggled with some of the tactical elements. She was terrible with her shotgun and not very good at getting into her harness during their helicopter drills. But Lena was persistent and Alex could see it in her eyes, even as they traded a flask filled with whiskey back and forth. “You’re studying polar bear movement and health?”

“Yep.” Alex kicks back and sinks into the couch. “You must be on the small scale climate change team.”

“Team?” 

“You guys are like the cool kids. We’re the dweebs,” Alex smiles. “You’re doing the 2-1-2 rotation?”

“Yeah, you too, right?” Alex nods. “We’ll be seeing a lot of each other.” Alex doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing but she decides that she won’t ignore this friendship in favor of isolating herself. 

In her first week on the ship, Alex manages to finally come up with a proper thesis. She’s prepared to write a paper on this when the mission is over but she’s a bit rusty. Alex treks on, learning everything she can from her fellow researchers, while they’re still in the lull before things start picking up. While Alex is just wrapping up her Skype session with Kara, she hears frustrated muttering from the room across the hall. Lena’s room to be exact. 

“Luthor, you need help?” Alex yells. 

“Fucking shit!” Lena grumbles. “Yeah, can you come here for a sec?” Alex blows a kiss to Kara before signing out and heading over to Lena’s room. This is only the third time Alex has been in here but it’s just as clean as it was on that very first day. Lena is sitting on the ground with a mess of wires and her computer next to her. “This system is from like the 80s.”

“You’re not so smart after all,” Alex jokes as she shoos Lena aside and gets to work setting up the equipment. Lena lounges on her bed and watches Alex. 

“So, that was your sister, right?” 

“Hm?”

“That you were just talking to.” Alex glances up for a second. Usually, Lena is very casual but something about this conversation seems to be leading somewhere different. 

“Yeah. Kara.” 

“Because I wondered…” Alex’s heart starts to race. Alex can’t meet Lena’s eyes. She doesn’t want anyone wondering anything about her. She took this journey to get away from hard questions not to run right into them. “About the ring.”

“What ring?” 

“The one that’s missing from your finger.” Alex looks down at her hand and the tan line that’s sitting vacant on her ring finger. “Anyway…I’ll stop being observant if you want me to.”

“Please. It’s not something I really want to get into.” Lena respects her wishes. They continue their nightly drinking sessions which turn into rowdy card games and once - only once - Alex looks into Lena’s eyes for longer than necessary. It’s all fine. Alex calls Kara that night and she sits in her locked room, cuddling a pillow and listening to Kara talk endlessly about her day. 

“Are you okay?”

“Sure,” Alex mutters. 

“I would get on a plane and find you if you needed it.”

“You can’t. Literally, it’d be impossible.”

“Sisters do impossible things all the time.” Kara smiles. “You’re out there trying to save the world, aren’t you?” Kara’s video feed keeps freezing and it drives Alex crazy. So crazy that she kicks a hole through the screen. She didn’t know that being around this many people would feel like loneliness. The same feeling that she’d been trying to drown out for four months slowly began to creep up on her. 

All this and her stupid pride nearly get her killed the next day. As she’s laying there with her life flashing before her eyes, she considers how fitting it is that she will probably freeze to death out there. Alex is saved because she always is. The med bay is frenzied, everyone checking in on her and no one acknowledging the fact that Alex had been reckless. It takes a while for Alex to regain feeling in her body and then, suddenly, all the emotions come flooding in. Lena picks that exact moment to come into the room. “Was that a fucking cry for help or something?” Alex notices that Lena’s eyes are red like she’d been crying. 

“Fuck off-.”

“You were reckless out there. You need to do better.”

“Thanks. That’s helpful.”

“What do you want me to say?” Lena asks as she shrugs out of her jacket and practically throws it into a chair. “You know you’re brooding might be cool where you’re from but if it’s going to put you in danger like that, then you seriously need to talk to someone.”

“It was a mistake.” 

“You can’t make mistakes like that not when people care-.” Lena closes her eyes. “The polar bears need you.” Alex breaks into a fit of laughter that quickly morphs into something unexplainable. Tears. Lena holds her through it all which makes Alex feel different. 

Renewed. 

After Alex has pushed around her dinner and listened to Lena explain everything she’s read in their daily news debrief, things between them get very quiet. Alex expects a question because Lena is the kind of person who needs to know everything. Instead, Lena offers Alex a middle ground. “I’m going to ask you something now.” Lena props her head up with her elbows pressed against Alex’s hospital bed. “Are you married?”

“No.”

“Divorced?”

“No.” Lena looks confused so Alex adds, “I was though. Married, I mean.” 

“You could talk about it, you know?” Lena motions to the empty room. “It’s just us. All the secrets travel out in that ice-cold tundra and…they disappear.”

“She’d dead, Lena.” Alex sits up and wonders why it feels okay to finally talk about her. “She died four months before we started training. Which, everyone told me…screamed and yelled at me, don’t go out there, you’re just upset. ‘Just upset’”.” Alex scoffs. “If they understood the fucking insanity of life without…her.” For once, Alex isn’t coddled, she’s allowed to feel everything. It doesn’t come as a surprise that Lena is the one who lets her. “If I didn’t do this if I didn’t take this risk…I couldn’t have made it back home. Too many reminders.”

“Grief is a nuisance,” Lena remarks. “If only it was all good times on the_ HMS Discovery_.” There’s something that signals clarity in Lena’s voice. Alex doesn’t feel talked down to but understood. It’s taken her a while to find someone who understands the impermanence of life. It makes sense if Alex takes a step back and thinks about it. Lena studies climate change. They’re both constantly thinking about how the world is folding in on itself more and more every day. This idea and this moment become the cornerstone of their friendship. 

Four months and two stops into the expedition and Alex and Lena find themselves pulling an all-nighter in the lab. Alex is used to this kind of work, Lena slugs through it. “Hey, I read a conspiracy theory about you today.”

“Really? Was it good? Am I an alien yet, I’ve always wanted to be called an alien.” Alex finishes a measurement and yanks off her gloves. 

“No, actually, someone apparently thinks that you’re not even on this expedition but actually in Italy with…get this: your rugby-playing boyfriend.” Lena seems to find it significantly less funny than Alex does. 

“That’s the best they can come up with?” Lena rolls her eyes. “The idea that I’m straight is the most offensive part of that, by the way.” 

“Aren’t rugby players kinda…jocky?”

“You’re just jealous ‘cause you’re a giant nerd.” Lena whacks Alex’s stomach with the back of her hand. “A nerd with abs, very dynamic.” 

Two hours later, they have their first kiss. It’s an accident. Lena’s lips brushing against Alex’s neck as they pull apart from a hug. The second kiss comes at full force. It’s Alex who initiates it and as she’s pulling Lena into her room, it’s Alex that pushes her away. “I can’t. Sorry, it’s not…” Alex covers her face with her hands. She groans and turns away. “This is wrong. It’s…it’s me, I don’t know what I’m doing.” If Lena had said something like neither do I, they might’ve continued kissing. But she doesn’t and as quickly as it began, their unfiltered romance surrounded by nature that is facing destruction head-on ends.

Lena does apologize. It comes a week later. Lena stands at Alex’s door wringing her hands. “Sorry about what happened. Kissing you. I shouldn’t have taken advantage, you’re grieving.”

“You didn’t. I kissed you,” Alex reminds her. 

Alex gets an unprompted Skype call and when she sees Kara’s name she answers immediately. Kara looks at the camera all nervous and apologetic. “Sorry,” she mutters before pushing her webcam to the side and revealing Eliza.

“Alex, finally, I haven’t talked to you in weeks. How are you doing?” It feels like an _I told you so_ waiting to happen. Suddenly, Lena’s in the room holding a deck of cards. Eliza’s eyes soften for some reason.

“Hey, sorry, just wondering if you wanted to play?” Lena asks.

“Oh-.”

“Go on, Alex, play with your friend,” Eliza insists. “We love you, dear. Kara and I are proud.” It’s the first time that Eliza sounds like she actually accepts Alex’s choice. Alex waves goodbye to Eliza and Kara before shutting off her computer and turning to Lena. 

“Your mom’s kinda a babe,” Lena says immediately breaking the tension. 

“Please, never say anything like that ever again.”

The third time they kiss, it’s after Lena has completely destroyed Alex in UNO. Alex suspects she’d rigged the game and when she goes to ask, Lena is busy putting her hair up in a ponytail. “You look nice,” Alex says pretending it’s the first time she’s noticed but it’s not. Lena’s smile is almost mischievous.

“I know. It’s the outfit that does the trick. I just love the sound of my synthetic pants.” Lena moves her legs against each other making the wosh wosh sound they hear every day as researchers milled about the hallway. “And I’m sure the bags under my eyes just add to the allure.”

“Totally.”

“Your flirting is weak sauce, Danvers. Bring it or get to the back of the line. I’ve got rugby admirers and conspiracy theorists galore.”

“I just want to kiss you.”

“Really? For real this time?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” They kiss and soon fall into Alex’s tiny bed together. As they’re scrambling to take their clothes off, Lena pulls the blanket over their bodies. “It’s fucking freezing.” She mouths against Alex’s collar. “I guess that’s what we signed up for.” Alex isn’t certain she had a plan coming into this but being around Lena somehow gave her permission to heal. She wasn’t certain what the world would throw her way next but she had another six months on an arctic expedition to figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you're just scrolling through the news and you find something that's actually interesting (and not extremely depressing) and then you write a fic about it. That's just the way life is, kids.


	4. "What are we waiting for?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, this is just becoming a place where I throw any one-shots I've written I guess....

The thing is: Alex doesn’t want to be here. If she had the choice, she’d be doing all of this alone, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t technically possible or rational - as if those words still had meaning - and even though she was stubborn, Alex knew that she had to call in backup. It would be simple to ask J’onn or even Vasquez to help out but they would be worried and Alex would be stuck on desk duty until all of this was figured out and Alex didn’t have the patience for that. Alex knew there was something wrong. She knew that these strange dreams she’d been having about space and fire weren’t normal, so she was going to figure it out even if she had to call-

“Alex?”

“Hey, thanks for coming.” Alex stands up and approaches Lena tentatively. The phone conversation had been awkward at best. Alex had been flustered, Lena patient and understanding. And now, here they are, standing in front of a sleep monitoring station. “Wow, you…” Alex looks at Lena’s outfit. She’s wearing this soft pink hoodie and leggings and Alex has absolutely never seen Lena in anything less than two-inch heels. Alex is certain that she’s never seen Lena in anything ‘casual’ not even on game night. She looks cute, warm…Alex tries her best not to stare.

“What?” Lena is still all business under all that fluff, so Alex clears her throat and motions to the observation room where Lena will be set up. “Nice digs.”

“Usually, I’d agree. Tonight all this feels weird.” Alex opens the door for Lena and they walk into the room dominated by a one-way mirror and three flat-screen monitors. Alex had taken the liberty of putting a pillow and blanket in here, though she is almost certain that Lena won’t use them. “I know this is crazy. But I can’t observe myself objectively while I sleep and I…” Alex taps her temple. “Something is going on up here.”

“Why do you sound like you’re always on the verge of apologizing with me? I said I was happy to do it,” Lena assures Alex. “I do care about you. You’d be surprised how much.” Lena goes to study the monitors like she didn’t just say that. Alex is willing to play along if it keeps Lena comfortable. “So, on the phone, you said…dreams?”

“Yeah.”

“Like…?”

“Hellfire. Rapture shit. Blood.” Alex shakes her head. “It felt weirdly familiar though. I just need to monitor my sleep, I need to know-.”

“If it’s a memory or a dream. Yes, well, I can help you with that.” Lena is confident behind the monitors. Checking everything, scribbling in a small notepad, she has a confidence that’s unwavering. Attractive. Alex likes that Lena knows what she’s doing. All of that seems to fade when Alex actually starts to prepare for the heart and brain monitoring. There’s are plain hospital wear - a dark blue top and pants - that Alex needs to change into before she gets hooked up to the monitors in the medbay. Usually, Alex doesn’t have any reason to be nervous about her body at work. But Lena is here and Alex doesn’t know if she should hide away in the corner or just go for it. Lena must sense her uneasiness because she blushes and turns her head away. “Go on, my eyes are closed.”

Alex changes rapidly, eager to get past the awkwardness. They return to the medbay where Alex climbs into the bed and Lena starts the tedious process of hooking her up to three machines. “I’d kill for access to this kind of equipment.”

“Well, I was thinking of a way I could pay you back for this. If you’d like access…” Lena laughs, Alex tries not to scratch the pesky nodes that are attached to her brain monitoring software. “What?”

“I assumed you’d ask me to dinner or something.”

“I can do that too.” Lena fumbles with the heart monitor. She looks like she’s trying to find the most modest way of reaching under Alex’s shirt. Alex enjoys watching her squirm. There’s something about the contrast between business as usual Lena and this blushing woman - who just managed to get a dinner date out of this whole ordeal - that is unusually alluring and Alex isn’t thrilled by the idea of Lena being on the other side of that glass.

“Having fun.”

“Yep. Absolutely.” Alex smiles. “You’ve got a cute blush. You should get embarrassed more.”

Lena scoffs. “You sound like some ass telling me I should smile more.” Lena manages to work through the monitors and get Alex up in a quick rush of annoyance.

“Well, what should I have said?”

“I don’t know. Nothing.” Lena seems to be caught between frowning and smiling. “Ass.”

“I’ve been called worse.”

“Okay. Let me check to make sure these are working.” Lena clicks around on her phone for a second. Alex isn’t sure how that will help but she waits on the bed drumming her fingers against the soft cushion. “Oh, this should work.” Lena turns her camera so that the screen is facing Alex. Or, more notably, a picture of Lena wearing a bathing suit on some beach is facing Alex. It should be embarrassing, the way the heart monitor beeping suddenly spikes. Alex should be mortified but Lena’s smug look is nothing but fuel for Alex to say just about anything she wants now.

“You went for it, huh?”

“Gotta say you’re offering me some great validation.” Lena returns her phone to her hoodie pocket. “This’ll be fun.”

“This is a serious lab study,” Alex says but she doesn’t sound even the least bit convincing. And the way her heart starts racing again while Lena walks back toward the observation room is a sure sign that this is going to be a long night. Alex does try to get comfortable. She turns off the lights, climbs under the blankets and hopes that sleep will overtake her before Alex starts overthinking things.

“Where did you grow up?” Lena asks through the speaker in the corner of the ceiling. Alex rolls over and looks up at nothing.

“What? Midvale. You know that.”

“Yeah, duh. I just need some control questions.”

“Control questions for…?”

“Technically a lie detector test. But I’ll monitor your brain too, just to make sure you’re not a psychopath.” Alex wants to laugh, she really does, but she’s more concerned about the kind of questions Lena will ask her. “How old are you?”

“Thirty,” Alex grumbles.

“Favorite color?”

“How is that a control question?” Alex questions.

“It’s not. I just want to know.”

“Green.” Alex lies back down. Lena is the kind of person that doesn’t give up, Alex is the same way, so Alex resigns herself to being interrogated. “Yours?”

“Red.” Alex really wishes she could see Lena. She’s shy in ways that other people can’t say. Alex knows that game and she wishes that there was some way she could tell Lena that she sees her. Really sees her. “Were you in love with Maggie?”

“Jesus Christ.” Alex sighs. “Yes.” There’s a long pause, Alex is unnerved. Worried that Lena will somehow find a flaw in her brain. Something that tells her that her emotions were all scrambled. That things weren’t the way she remembered them.

“You’re angry about that?”

“Maybe. She broke my heart. It’s hard not to be angry.” Alex hadn’t talked about this with anyone except Kara. It feels strange to be discussing it with Lena. “You ever been in love?”

“Still trying to figure that out.”

“Well…don’t.” Alex shakes her head. “Sorry, that was cynical. You should love whoever you want.”

“I will.” Alex senses the heaviness in the air. “Do you remember when the DEO had to canvas LCorp and we were stuck there all night?”

“Yeah. That was like…two years ago? I had to take like six Advils because Vasquez and I kept falling asleep on your couch.”

“You bought me dinner that night.”

“I did.”

“You did.” Alex can hear the smile in Lena’s voice. “And I thought ‘this is the nicest thing anyone has done for me’. It was such a small but genuine gesture. You do things like that all the time, you know?” Alex never really thinks about it. Being kind didn’t come naturally to her. She had to learn from Kara but eventually, it became easy. “So, when you called about this. Those nightmares and how you couldn’t sleep, I thought, well shit. I’ll be there. I’d basically do anything for you.”

“Lena…I had no idea.”

“You wouldn’t. I’m not very straight forward when it comes to…and then there was Maggie, so I needed to get a grip.” Alex wonders if this slight confession is easier or more difficult with an entire wall standing between them. “I want you to be happy.”

“I want the same for you, Lena. I always have.”

“Okay, then what are we waiting for?”


	5. “Fun night?”

It isn’t that Alex doesn’t enjoy the perks of the job. Leadership, control over her hours, and free coffee courtesy of Vasquez - who arrives a whole hour before everyone else to make it. Alex is good at her job. Great even, but she felt a twinge of guilt when J’onn had announced her promotion to a chorus of cheers and Alex’s stomach twisted into a knot. 

She had been working years for this. It’s what she wanted. Truly. But there was also that voice in the back of her head that kept saying _isn’t there something missing_? Because she’d felt it when her friends and family were buying rounds of drinks at their favorite bar, complimenting her on all of her hard work. J’onn looked proud and for the first time in what seems like a hundred years, Alex didn’t wish that her father was there. Partially because J’onn had been there for Alex more than Jerimiah ever had, but also because Jerimiah could read her far too well and he would know that she wasn’t completely happy. 

She’d tried to switch her route coming into the DEO. The left-wing instead of the right. Coming in early, showing up late, but nothing worked. Alex still had to pass a lab. _Her _lab. And nothing ever quite felt like home except that place. Occasionally, Alex gets to oversee procedures and tests, but she doesn’t have time to spend hours in there like she used to and it’s been eating at her enough to slowly dwindle down her excitement about her new job enough to make people notice. 

Kara is slightly oblivious. She seems very caught up on the idea that Alex is still wallowing in self-pity over Maggie. In fact, Kara had purposefully avoided going out with Lucy whenever Alex was around. Alex resented being considered _that _fragile and she insisted that Kara and Lucy continue on with their on again off again fling. At least it was entertaining to watch Kara squirm while Lucy tried to both be a flirty little shit and maintain appropriate boundaries. 

At least Vasquez and Winn are treating her normally. They’ll occasionally ask her if she wants to join their DnD game, which she does - somehow - enjoy. They think she’s lonely. 

They’re probably right. 

It isn’t until Alex gets this call in the middle of the night that she even has an inkling of what’s going on with her. “Hello?” Alex checks her clock, it’s 3:16 in the morning and she immediately assumes the worst. It must be Kara calling or someone from the DEO. Alex mentally prepares to get into work mode. Her gun is in her lockbox, her shoes were trashed after that deadly fire escape last week, but at least she knew where her jacket was. 

“Hey, Alex.” Oh. It’s Lena. Lena who has never once called Alex. Lena who once accidentally texted her a shepherd’s pie recipe and apologized profusely for interrupting Alex’s day. Alex had talked to Lena alone approximately two times. Once when there was a bomb scare at LCorp and once during a bar trivia night when Kara, James, and Winn had ditched them because they thought they saw some famous baseball player near the tiny little stage. Alex had pinched Kara’s side as her sister scrambled out of the booth because Alex was concerned that being alone with Lena was going to be extremely awkward. And it had been, at first, but then Lena proved herself to be rather lighthearted and occasionally very sarcastic, and Alex liked that about her. Maybe a little too much. 

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, um…” Alex could hear movement on the other end, Alex seriously hoped that Lena hadn’t been kidnapped because that was going to be a hell of a ransom. “So, my friend Jack is in town and he got alcohol poisoning like some kind of nineteen year old, and Sam…who is also wasted, fell and broke her arm, so…”

“You need a doctor on call?” 

“Kind of. I would hate for this to get into the papers somehow. You don’t have to if you don’t want to-.”

“No way, it sounds fun. Where are you guys?” 

“LCorp. In my lab. Text me when you’re here and I’ll let you in.” Alex hangs up and throws on whatever clothes she can find that have been discarded on her floor. She sloshes mouthwash around her mouth as she combs her hair and that’s about all the effort she’s willing to put in for this late at night. She brushes the dust off her medkit, gets on her bike, and speeds off toward Corp. 

No traffic has made a ten-minute drive take two minutes and when Alex arrives Lena is already propping open the door and waiting for her. “Thank you so much for coming.” 

“Anytime.” They do a little awkward shuffle as they enter the building, but Lena seems to compose herself enough to hit the elevator button and only slightly lean against the wall, which lets Alex know that Lena must be slightly tipsy. “Fun night?”

“It was very fun. And then we all started losing count.” Lena laughs a little at herself. 

“You look nice.” 

“Thanks.” Lena looks down at her black lace top dress. “Do you really think so? I feel a little juvenile in this thing.” 

“No, it’s cute.” The elevator dings open before Alex can tell Lena that she looks really cute in the dress. Alex is so wrapped up in the sparkling white of the incredible and well-designed lab that it takes her a whole two minutes to notice Sam and Jack - she assumes - making poorly constructed paper airplanes and tossing them between their hospital beds. Jack has the upper hand, literally, as Sam’s arm hangs at her side. “Wow.”

“Alex!” Sam says enthusiastically. “Jack, that’s Alex.” 

“Hiya, Doc.” Jack still looks very drunk but the fluids that Lena has administered must be helping. “Sam fucking ate it.”

“I was trying to help you, idiot.” Sam uses her good arm to throw a paper airplane in Jack’s general direction. She misses by a mile. Alex goes over to check Jack’s fluids briefly before she turns her attention to Sam. “You should get a lab coat.”

“And cover up _those_ arms? That would be a crime,” Jack exclaims. 

“Jack, leave her alone!” Lena warns. Alex feels the spot on Sam’s arm where the bone has been broken, gently. “How does it look?” 

“Not too bad,” Alex says. She looks up at Sam with a reassuring smile. “I’m not even worried about you. You seem tough.” 

“I’m drunk and tough, so I guess that helps.” Sam refuses to look at anything that Alex does. Jack feeds her peanuts that he’s found God knows where and Lena holds Sam’s other arm, rubbing her hand soothingly. “You’re good.” 

“I’m surprised I still remember how to do this.” 

“You don’t get to spend much time working in labs anymore, do you? Or med bays?” Lena questions. Alex tries not to let it show how much she’s dishearted by those two facts. 

“Not really,” Alex replies. 

“Did you do a lot of research? Before your promotion, I mean.” Lena seems to now be only focused on Alex. Sam doesn’t seem to mind, Jack is too drunk to care. 

“Uh…a little. Mostly side projects. Don’t tell anyone, but they weren’t exactly CDC approved. Or J’onn approved.” Alex remembers all those times when she’d spend the hours between saving the city and finding new ways to change the world. Those were good times. She felt like everything was exactly as it should be. 

“You sound like Lena back in college,” Jack slurs. “She’d rather be stuck in a lab than party.”

“I was never ‘stuck’ in a lab. It’s…it’s different. You don’t get it.” Lena waves him off. Alex’s eyes find Lena’s and she really does feel like she’s seeing the younger woman for the first time now. 

“I know what you mean,” Alex tells her. 

“Well, my lab is always open. If you’re interested,” Lena offers with a smile.

“That’s gotta be a euphemism,” Sam mutters which only makes Alex break her concentration and struggle to find a way not to blush. Lena’s blushing too, even her neck and shoulders have turned a lovely shade of pink. 

“I am interested.” Lena’s eyes widen slightly and it takes Alex a second to realize that Lena - and probably Jack and Sam - are unsure if Alex is interested in the offer or the euphemism. “In the…lab. I miss discovery. That was my favorite part.” When Lena and Alex manage to get Sam and Jack to sleep, they’re left in some kind of limbo. Alex doesn’t want to leave them two alone. She also doesn’t want to leave Lena. “I can stay if you want. We can take turns watching them.”

“No, it’s alright. I can never sleep in a lab anyway. There’s always something I could work on and I’m afraid I’ll probably start at least three things tonight.”

“Okay.” Alex smiles. “Sounds like fun to me.”

“You’re such a nerd.” Lena nudges Alex’s shoulder with her own. “I like that about you.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Alex takes off her leather jacket and puts it over Lena’s shoulders. “Okay, so where should we begin?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Lena would get drunk and not know the way out of LCorp, this is a canon scenario


End file.
